Oh Me.....

"He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else." ~ Benjamin Franklin

I was nudged to write about Peter over a week ago and didn't do it. In light of my opening line... I will not deign to make an excuse for why I didn't write on the subject some time ago. But, I do want to be honest with you all and say, I messed up again. Satan likes to use the times when I mess up to tell me that I am not worthy of sharing a message that God speaks to my heart.

So... here goes...I was speaking with a friend regarding appearances recently. Shortly after our talk, I was reading in the word about when Peter denied Christ. I think we all know the story. Jesus told Peter, "before the cock crows, you will deny me three times" and Peter swore it wasn't true and it came to pass, just as Jesus stated. The lessons generally taught along with this story is affirmation of Jesus prophetic nature, the lure of peer pressure, etc. We know that Peter walked alongside Jesus for years - he observed firsthand miracles and prophecies. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that Jesus was the Christ and yet, he denied him because he was afraid.

There's more to it though... in Matthew 10 we find Jesus teaching His disciples. During this time of teaching He commissioned the disciples to preach salvation and then He went on in verses 17-19 to say, "Be on your guard against men; they will hand you over to the local councils and flog you in their synagogues. On my account you will be brought before governors and kings as witnesses to them and to the Gentiles. But when they arrest you, do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say". Keep reading through the chapter and let me also make special note of verses 32 & 33, "Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven. But whoever disowns me before men, I will disown him before my Father in heaven."

Now, back to the point I am trying to make...Peter was willing to deny Jesus at the risk of his salvation because he wanted to look good even though he was warned not only the night before, but during Jesus teaching.

We put on faces that we want the world to see. Sometimes we put on different faces for different people, this one for my family, this one for my colleagues, this one for my church friends, this one for my teammates...and we may fool some people but, we won't fool them all. It's a lie and for the one you didn't fool, you have destroyed your testimony. Sometimes, we even lie to ourselves about who and what we are. Sometimes, we would rather make excuses for our behavior and rationalize it then to face that we blew it. I am going to boldly say that it is the worst kind of cowardice when one cannot face themselves.

1 Samuel 16:7 "But the LORD said to Samuel, 'Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." Hebrews 4:13 states, "Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account." There is no such thing as "looking good" in front of God. We have all sinned and come short of His glory.

One time, my oldest son had friends over and they began roughhousing and one of the boys fell hard into the wall in the hallway causing a large hole in the drywall. My son went and got a poster of Captain Kirk and hung it over the hole, hiding it from view. Nobody knew it was there... but it was. It doesn't matter what others see, if there is a deficiency in your heart condition, it will remain there, whether it is seen or not. Because the poster hid the hole... we put off repairing it. Exposing our faults, is the first step toward overcoming them. As long as we keep them hidden, there is little motivation to repair... after all... it just might be painful.

But, back to Matthew 10... when we face those things that frighten us...we have the promise of the Spirit leading us. We know what to say because He speaks through us. I want you to really "get" this...you cannot fail when you follow the leading of the Holy Spirit...you cannot fail. So, when you try to protect yourself... and you follow your own leading, you may think you are saving yourself from [humiliation, pain, loss, etc.] but, you are in fact, putting yourself more at risk.

Keeping a right heart attitude can be a lifelong process. David said in Psams 51:10, "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me." To "renew" a right spirit implies that he had already possessed a right spirit at one time and in order to have that right spirit renewed, he needed his heart to be cleansed. He didn't ask God to stop him from sinning, he didn't ask God to improve his reputation. He recognized that the cause of his failure was his heart condition.

Why is it that we like to put band-aids over our little cuts and scrapes when we know that keeping them uncovered allows them to heal faster? We need to stop playing cover up so, real healing can begin and real progress can be made. Do you truly believe that there is anybody that believes you are perfect? Let's confess our faults and lift each other up, let's pray for each other, let's show compassion and understanding to our fellow man, let's be real so God can really use us to further His kingdom.

Write after I wrote this... I read something from a friend that I am going to add here with my paraphrase:

Man in his normal state will renounce his beliefs just as readily as Peter renounced Jesus before the Resurrection. But the same Peter discovered after the Resurrection, there is a power beyond man that causes him to forsake all. It is the power of God revealed through the Holy Spirit.

The Waste Places

I usually share my own writings but, this has been my favorite poem since I was in high school studying English Literature (my FAVORITE). Fear can be paralyzing but, we know who is the author of fear. So often, it is the fear itself that is our undoing. Proverbs 29:25 "A person's fear sets a trap [for him], but one who trusts the LORD is safe." Living in fear is no life at all.

The Waste Places
by James Stephens

AS a naked man I go
Through the desert sore afraid,
Holding up my head although
I’m as frightened as a maid.

The couching lion there I saw
From barren rocks lift up his eye;
He parts the cactus with his paw,
He stares at me as I go by.

He would follow on my trace
If he knew I was afraid,
If he knew my hardy face
Hides the terrors of a maid.

In the night he rises and
He stretches forth, he snuffs the air;
He roars and leaps along the sand,
He creeps and watches everywhere.

His burning eyes, his eyes of bale,
Through the darkness I can see;
He lashes fiercely with his tail,
He would love to spring at me.

I am the lion in his lair;
I am the fear that frightens me;
I am the desert of despair
And the nights of agony.

Night or day, whate’er befall,
I must walk that desert land,
Until I can dare to call
The lion out to lick my hand.

II
As a naked man I tread
The gloomy forests, ring on ring,
Where the sun that’s overhead
Cannot see what’s happening.

There I go: the deepest shade,
The deepest silence pressing me;
And my heart is more afraid
Than a maiden’s heart would be.

Every day I have to run
Underneath the demon tree,
Where the ancient wrong is done
While I shrink in agony.

There the demon held a maid
In his arms, and as she, daft,
Screamed again in fear, he laid
His lips upon her lips and laughed.

And she beckoned me to run,
And she called for help to me,
And the ancient wrong was done
Which is done eternally.

I am the maiden and the fear;
I am the sunless shade, the strife;
I the demon lips, the sneer
Showing under every life.

I must tread that gloomy way
Until I shall dare to run
And bear the demon with his prey
From the forest to the sun.

Waving A White Flag Now...

So, I entered a competition last night. It's one that given a night to think about and looking at all the facts I don't think I can win and yet, I am determined to win. I am just one of those people that was born with an excessively competitive spirit. Sometimes that spirit motivates me to succeed and sometimes that spirit keeps me from experiencing possibly wonderful things. How does it keep me from experienc? Well, having the competitive spirit that I do, I don't want to do anything that I don't think I will be good at because I have to excel...it's a necessity.

This life is competitive. We compete for careers, we compete for attention... we are taught from a young age that nobody ever remembers second place. There are several problems with this mindset.

Problem number one lies in the fact that, sometimes we get caught up in a race for the sake of the race, with no real goal.

Picture in your mind a man driving down a road and another man comes driving up behind him. As he sees the car gaining on him, he increases his speed. His mind, reeling, tells him to go faster, to not let this stranger catch up to him. Faster and faster he goes until the car behind him becomes a faint spot in the distance. Just then, he rounds the bend to find a bridge out and cannot stop in time. Perhaps that stranger was trying to catch up to him to issue a warning and backed off when he knew it was too late.

Problem number two lies in the fact that we are in the world but, not of it. Yes, the world is competitive but, we are called to surrender.

I hate that word. It is not in my nature. Me, surrender?

But then, I read my Bible and I find that this competitive nature of mine is part of Satan's lie. As contrary as it sounds, my competitive nature may full well impede my success and victory.

In the following verses, it is said that whoever seeks to save his life will lose it and whoever loses his life for God will find it;

John 12:25, Mark 8:35, Matthew 16:25, Matthew 10:39, Luke 9:24, Luke 17:33

I need to keep my competitive nature in check. I need to keep my eyes focused on my goal and not just run the race for the sake of running. I need to surrender... give up to God and not be caught up in the lie that I have to win here on earth because true victory comes after we leave this life.

Philippians 3:14 "I pursue, looking towards the goal, for the prize of the calling on high of God in Christ Jesus."

Although it goes against my very grain, I have the promise that in my weakness, I will be made strong.

2 Corinthians 12:9 "Each time he said, 'My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.' So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me."

Today, I am singing the words to the Lincoln Brewster chorus "All To You".

I'm living my life for You
And I'm giving everything to You
Not holding back, from every part
I'm giving it all to You

Not very competitive but, the sure way to victory.

Resurrected

This is something that I have felt led to write about for some time. I am not sure why I put it off for so long but, I am thankful I did because even now the full realization of the topic eludes me. I am soaking it in little bit by little bit.

As Christians, we have been taught that Jesus is to be the example of how we are to live life. His love, His kindness, His compassion, His long-suffering, His benevolence, His passion, etc. are all qualities we are to strive to attain. It's a tall order for most of us, yet we are to continue to strive towards that end and to grow in Him. There is another aspect of His life that I want to point you to today - His death. If He is our example, then we too have to die. Romans 6:4 "We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life."

I know it sounds like crazy talk but, remember what it says in Matthew 16:25, "For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it." Our death is a symbolic death... we must die to ourselves. Our old lives, the ones we knew prior to coming to know Jesus as our Savior must become a thing of the past. But, this is a process... let's look at how the process took place in the life and death of Jesus.

1. Jesus yielded to the will of the Father in His life. Luke 22:39 "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done."

2. Jesus came to calvary beaten, scorned, shamed, naked, in agonizing pain, alone, burdened by sin, stripped of all worldly possessions, the list could go on.

3. Jesus died by giving up His Spirit. Luke 23:46 "Then Jesus shouted, "Father, I entrust my spirit into your hands!" And with those words he breathed his last."

4. Jesus went directly into battle, entering hell and defeating satan. Matthew 12:40 "For just as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of the great fish, so will the Son of Man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth."

5. Jesus was resurrected. Luke 24:5-7 " And while their faces were bent down to the earth in fear, these said to them, Why are you looking for the living among the dead? He is not here, he has come back to life: have in mind what he said to you when he was still in Galilee, saying, The Son of man will be given up into the hands of evil-doers, and be put to death on the cross, and on the third day he will come back to life."

In Jesus resurrection and through His defeat of death and satan He traded in;

A broken body for one healed and whole
Shame for honor
Nakedness for being clothed in glory
Separation from God for communion and being one with the Father
The burden of sin for righteousness
Death for eternal life
Defeat for victory

Are you getting excited? He is our example... through our death to self and subsequent resurrection in Christ, He showed us that these things are ours for the taking. Many churches and preachers teach that healing is available, provision is available, favor is available, etc. But, this is way past something being available. This is not like a mint in a tray next to a cash register. Jesus said to follow Him, follow His example... this means that these things are not just available...we are to take them in order to be like Him!

I hope I made this clear but just want to say this one last thing, one more thing to ponder on...

The definition of Christian is, "a follower of Christ". If you claim to be a Christian, then you are a follower and you must follow Him all the way through His life, death, burial AND through the resurrection. Too many people are suffering because they stop at the dying to self. They stop at death. Life is not a race to see who can suffer the most for Christ. We are more than conquerors. (Romans 8:37) Grab hold of the resurrection.

Something Real

So, I was thinking the other day that I felt like a greyhound on a track chasing the ever elusive rabbit. I thought to myself, "God, why can't you ever let me catch it?" Bemoaning what I want in my life and what I don't have. I have become the man in Haggai 1:6 "You planted a lot, but you harvested little. You eat, but you're never full. You drink, but you're still thirsty.?wine[ to drink but not enough to become drunk."> You wear clothing, but you never have enough to keep you warm. You spend money as fast as you earn it."

As I pined away at my not "catching the rabbit" God spoke to me and said, "if you catch the rabbit, you will find it was not real." Ahhh... the rabbit is mechanical, a deception. And even for the dog who wins the race, the winner's bounty is no real reward. He goes on to chase the fake rabbit the next weekend. These thoughts all lead me to question what it is that I am chasing. I was reminded of Ecclesiastes 2:11 "Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun."

What is it that I want in my life that I cannot seem to attain? Peace, love, financial security...I just want a reprieve from the pressure of my day to day life. But, I got off track... I started looking for these things instead of Him who provides all for my good. Seeking God first takes you off the track. Running the circle of life gets you nowhere. You will keep running until you die, never satisfied. Like it says in James 4:2 "You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God". We need fellowship with God, conversation, to make our requests known. The second part of the equation is found in Matthew 6:31-33"So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." We ask, then we seek Him. Such a simple equation and yet so easy to lose sight.

I am getting off the track now. I want to chase something real.

You Matter....

Today was "Sanctity of Life Sunday".... it rolls around once a year as a reminder that we need to hold the life that God gives us sacred. We were reminded of all the verses in the Bible that tell us that life begins before birth and were reminded how we rejoice at the news of the Haitians pulled out of the rubble, still alive after all this time because it is inherent in our nature to value life. It is only our society that teaches us to devalue life. I sat in my chair listening to my pastor speak and he read the usual verses, that I have heard time and time again.

I am going to digress here just a bit and tell a story about my sons Becher and Drew. When I was pregnant with Drew, Becher was just three years old and he used to ask me all the time when the baby was going to come live with us. He would come up and rub my big pregnant tummy and say, "I miss the baby.... when is the baby going to come?" Shortly after Drew was born, I attended a "Sanctity of Life Sunday" just like today and Becher heard mention of the word "abortion" in the service. He asked me after church what it was and I told him that some people don't want to have a baby and when the baby is still in their tummy, they kill it and have it taken out. He was astounded and asked how and why that could happen. I explained to him that it is because those people don't truly believe that it is a baby.... that they are confused and that they believe that it is just "tissue". Well, "tissue" in our house had a whole different meaning than how I used it that day and Becher replied, "oh mommy, when Drew was in your tummy, I missed the baby, I NEVER thought he was toilet paper." Even at his young age he knew the value of a life.

It's a story that makes me smile so, I wanted to share even though it is only by a large stretch that it connects to the rest of what I have to say. Now back to my original thought!

My pastor today read Jeremiah 1:5 "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations." Now, we know that God was speaking to Jeremiah in this verse however, we also know that according to Acts 10:34 that God is no respecter of persons. This means that Jeremiah is no different from us.... God knew us before we were born and even before our conception.

I have read this verse dozens of times over my life and although it is a good verse, it never really stood out to me until today. Today I heard the verse and God spoke very clearly to me, "I have known your beginning to your end, I formed you, I planned you.... there is nothing you can do to disappoint me." Wow, that is so far removed from the way I was taught as a child and even into adulthood.

Think about how Satan uses our guilt to keep us from growing in the things of God. If he can make us feel unworthy then we may not even try to press in, to learn, to grow. We live hanging onto the hem of our salvation instead of living in the fullness of God.

I am in no way saying that this gives us free license to misbehave. What this knowledge does is invites us to be closer to God, to truly realize what He thinks of us and how much He loves us.

I want everyone who reads this to think a new thought.... every mistake....every sin....He knew. Grasp hold of that. Every one...He knew it not only before you did it but, before He even formed you! Yet, He made you anyway, He wanted you for Himself anyway, He longs for fellowship with you anyway and He died for you anyway. It wasn't some nebulous sin that He died for on the cross.... He died for yours knowing exactly what those sins would be. Despite your errs, you are His chosen one and you matter... more than anything.

I hope you know how much your are loved.

Never Full

I want to paint a picture in your mind.... picture a pitcher and there is water being poured into the pitcher from up above. Throughout the pitcher, there are small round holes and the water is running out as it is poured in. The pitcher is crying out, "I'm made for water, fill me" and yet, it can never be full.

This mental image is a picture of some Christians. They desperately want more, they believe, they know that we were made for fellowship with God and yet, they are never full. Some are believing for the promises of God... promises of peace, provision, health, etc. and yet, they never receive. In Christian circles for many years there were those who mistakenly judged those who did not receive what they were praying/believing for thinking that they must have a secret/hidden sin blocking their reception of the promise. Shame on anyone who judges another. God judges us by our heart condition. One man CAN NOT judge another man's heart condition from his outward state.

So what is it that causes us to not be filled, to lose the Word we so desperately try and fill ourselves with? I believe these holes are portals into our life where we have unknowingly given Satan access and authority in our lives. Those times when we unknowingly let Satan in caused the holes and leaking of the vessel.

Let me give you some basic examples; reading your horoscope may seem innocent enough, after all, you don't really believe that stuff. Bottom line is that reading your horoscope is dabbling in Satan's lair and allowing him a portal into your spiritual being. Some other things that may have given Satan access; a spirit of rejection, soul ties, dabbling in the occult, allowing sacrilegious items in your home, etc.

We head the biblical warning to, "be on guard" but we are looking on the outside when it is quite possible the problem comes from within. We mistakenly think that once we have given our lives to God that we are protected from spirits but if we have given spirits free access.... they have no intention of leaving until we recognize them and call them out!

The Bible says that the kingdom of God is within you (Luke 17:21) and says that the kingdom of heaven suffers violence and the violent take it by force (Matthew 11:12). We have to take it back from Satan and his minions. Ephesians 6:12 says, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." These are not some nebulous external forces and we need to learn how to fight this war. War is won on the offense, not on the defense. We need to identify our enemy and take back what is rightfully ours. Trust in the healing and restoration of God to seal off those portals!

Remember the parable of the sower who sows the Word? He sowed some on the path and the birds came and ate the seed. These are hard hearts that are not ready to hear and receive the word. Then he sowed on shallow ground and the seed immediately took root but withered and died because it had no root. Then he sowed on ground consumed with thorns and the thorns choked the seed. Then he sowed on fertile ground and the seed grew and bare fruit.

This parable never made any sense to me. If the Bible says that the Word is alive and powerful and does not return void.... why didn't the seed take root? The Bible says in Matthew 13:20 "The one who received the seed that fell on rocky places is the man who hears the word and at once receives it with joy." He wanted the Word, he joyously received the Word and the Word doesn't return void! Like the pitcher, he joyously received the Word yet it was his internal condition that prevented the Word from taking root.

You can have victory, you can seal up these unseen portals that have been bleeding you dry and sucking your faith away from you. Acts 5:16 says that everyone brought to Jesus was healed and delivered. John 14:12 says, "I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father." You have the authority but as Hosea 4:6 says, "You are destroyed for a lack of knowledge." It's time to expose these devils for what they are and drive them out once and for all!

Selective Salt

Have you ever gone to the grocery and purchased salt and then brought it home and some days it was salty and on other days you could shake and shake the container and it just didn't have any flavor? Of course not.... what a silly question!!
Jesus says that we are the "salt of the world" (Matthew 5:13) yet we tend to want to be selectively salty. Flavoring our conversation with the good news of the gospel only when it is convenient and comfortable. Far be it from me to judge your Christian walk but, I would like to challenge you to really look at your life.... if you are being selectively salty, I dare say that perhaps you are not salt at all.
James 3:11 & 12 say, "Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water." In the old testament we read in 2 Chronicles, Leviticus and Numbers about a "covenant of salt". Just as salt is a preservative, this covenant of salt refers to perpetuity. Salt is constant, salt is perpetual, salt preserves or it is not salt at all.
I have come to the realization that it is not enough to be a good example. It is not enough to be kind and loving to those around me. If there is one person whose life I have been a part of who is not given the opportunity to accept Jesus as his/her Savior... I have failed. I must be the salt that God says I am every day, in every moment to all people. Luke 14:35 tells us that if salt loses it's saltiness it is worthless and not even fit for the manure pile.
I am all the more convinced of this truth as I look back on my life and recognize the depravity that I have been saved from. The Word tells us in Luke 12:48 that to whom much is given, much is expected. We seem to read these words and focus on either great talent or material possessions. To the outside world, it would appear that I have not been given much but, I know what God saved me from. I know the extent of the grace and mercy that have been shown to me and I know that I owe God more than most. I am choosing from this day on to no longer be selectively salty.